I AM GRANDFATHER

I AM GRANDFATHER

Grandfather (Observations)

He came to live nearby,

The day he ended my childhood.

"I am grandfather",

He said, carelessly,

His accent thick,

His grammar off.

I looked up, in awe, from where I stood.

"Bring me tea,

Bring me coffee.

Bring me you,

And fast too"

Sometimes I begged,

Sometimes I cried,

Sometimes I drowned

In my tears,

In my pain,

In my fears.

They say you can't remember

These things from when you are very young.

But I can,

Oh yes, I can.

And it lasted so long...

One wants a hug,

One wants love.

Love becomes a meaningless word,

Still desperately wanted.

Haunted.

He ended my childhood

In a torrent of violence

and tears.

And I still wonder if he had a heart

Instead of cruelty,

And the deceptive friendliness

That I learned to recognize

As prelude to fulfilling his wishes.

And all my youth drowned,

and sometimes I think

I haven't surfaced yet.

And all my tears have dried,

But still I am drowning.

***

2nd place in contest Words Drowned in Tears

October 17, 2016